Saturday, September 03, 2005

Paint Colors

Marcia is an overachiever. She has been her whole life and today is no different.

She has a stack of paint color cards, swatches I think they are called, all over the house, in order to decide what color to paint the bathroom and the girls room and anything else that will hold still long enough for her to coat it. On this, I don't share her enthusiasm.

But, I have learned something very important. I have learned what my next career will be. I'm not ready to leave ministry for it yet, but someday I'm sure I will. Yes, I want to be the guy who names the paint colors. I know it's a hard job, but someone has to do it . . . and you have to be good!

Listen to these color names sitting on our counter (I am not making these up):

Coffee Rose (think brown, dead, dry rose.)
Chocolate Sparkle (More exciting than plain chocolate.)
City Bistro (too noisy)
Chocolate Licorice (Marcia had green licorice as a kid and that doesn't sound any better.)
Rosemont Hall (The color of your college English lecture hall.)
Cafe' Mystique (Mystique without the cafe'.)
Wood Carving (Actually the color of the old man sitting on the porch in his overalls whittling.)
Poetic (What color? Roses are red, Violets are blue. . .)
Voodoo (I think I'll pick this for the baby's room.)
(I'm starting to leave some out now)
Amethyst Reflection (Not quite as bright as the amethyst itself)
Belladonna (Translated from Italian: Beautiful Woman -- has nothing to do with the color.)
Tawny Mushroom (I had a tawny mushroom chicken sandwich the other day).
Ferris Wheel (Only works in high round rooms. Doesn't make you sick like the Tilt-a-whirl color.)
Sweet Spiceberry (Is that a tea or room color?)
Alfalfa (The scratch and sniff smells just like the farm.)
Zen Mist (Christian mist must be on another card.)
Celestial Plume (If dried turns to a celestial prune.)
Featherstone (really, is it a feather or a stone. It can't be both!)
Crocodile Tears (And what color are those exactly?)
Reluctant Raisin (And what color is a willing raisin?)
Scandinavian Sky (We have to get this because Marcia is Norwegian!)
Honesty (It's a little lighter than the color "Truth".)
Cinnamon Diamonds (It looks a lot like plain cinnamon, but is more expensive.)
Veil of Dusk (You can't actually see the dusk because it is behind a . . . well you know.)
Tabu (Can't talk about it.)
Silver Service (You might be surprised it's not silver. Must be more the service color.)
Silver Bells (See Above.)
Moondance (An 80's movie perhaps?)
Tin Lizzie (Not the color of my old '71 Fury.)
Silverado (Not the color of any self-respecting pickup truck.)
Pins and Needles (Bet you can't wait to see what color that is.)
Abracadabra (This one magically looks different every time you look at it. That's why it takes us so long to decide on a color.)
Morning Cloud (Not in the Scandinavian sky, mind you.)
Comes the Dawn (Without the veil of dusk.)
Heavenly Blue (It would be heavenly if it were the last color!)
Cityscape (complete without any buildings.)
Chambray (?)
Filigree (See Above.)
Crescendo (And you thought that was a sound.)
Shimmering Sky (anywhere but Scandinavia)
Faithful (Looks very much like Honest)
Eternal Dream (Too obvious, an eternal nightmare.)
Cloud Nine (The first eight clouds have no color at all).
Moon Rock (complete with NASA certification.)
Gravity's Pull ( I promise you I am still not making this up.)
Exclamation Point (!)
Glass Slipper (by Cinderella)
Marianna's Aria (By Wagner)

And, you're probably wondering what we decided on?
Montana Morning -- Hate the color. Love the name.

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